05 February 2009

Ramblings of a military wife

Can you spot his beautiful smile??? This was the first time I saw his face in 7 months!!!! I love how he is not even listening! I was crying a lot at this point.


When Andy signed up for the Marine Corps (almost 7 years ago), they told him his contract would consist of going in for training (Drill weekend) ONE WEEKEND a month TWO WEEKS a year. Well, it has turned into 4-5 days a month, and 3 1/2 weeks a year. This has been a real big pain, especially because he is in school, and that is why he signed up for the reserves, NOT ACTIVE DUTY, so that he would be able t balance them both!!! Because of this insane scedule, he misses a lot of school work and I just have to say, He is one increadible person. He made it on the Deans list in the BYU Accounting school and for BYU in general. He manages time more efficiently than anyone I know, and I am in awe of his dedication (one of the reasons I married him, other than he has a beautiful smile, tenderness, and kindness that I didnt find in other boys that were even older than him).

When he is gone for several days in a row sometimes I become very sad again, almost like when he was in Iraq for months and months, however, my mind gets into that grove again and I begin to accept the fact that he wont be home anytime soon. It makes me so a tad bit frustrated when I hear wives say, "I miss my husband he has been gone for one or two days." I'm like COM'ON! You can totally do it, it's two meazly days, not 365!!! For heavens sakes, he's not taking a m-16 automatic machine gun with him on his trip and he's probably out camping or on a buisness trip and he probably has a cell phone to call you!! Everyone has their right to miss their husbands and sometimes we just have to make the best of it. I think life is all about perspecitive and experiences. I've learned never to assume, and alawys be grateful, so amist this ranting, I would like to honestly say that when I meet other wives that have done this, and some that have their husbands never come home, I am humbled and thankful beyond compare. There is a bond there that I can't explain. They understand, they've been there, cried there, stood there, and walked there.

At church, there is a beautiful military wife whom I love dearly. I just love her and I love her for how she is so full of light and gratitude. She walks tall and with faith. Her husband has been gone to Iraq for several months and we have this increadible bond and are able to have deep and meaningful conversations about life and it's perspectives. She has that glow about her that starts about a month before you know your man is coming home and huge tears of joy just swell up in my eyes when I hear her talking about his homecoming. One night this week, I asked her, 'Do a lot of women say to you that they dont know how you did it with him being gone?" She replied with a "Yes". Then it seems to be a common thread that they continue to say, "I could NEVER do it." I'm not so sure if I agree with that. I do believe that it is a emotional response and a kind respectful one, but we dont give ourselves enough credit as women and what we are capable of. When you have no other choice than to DO it, somehow you do!!! If more of life's experiences were Do it ones instead of I dont know if I could ones, think of what we could conquer!!! It doesn't mean it is easy, I had my fair share of crying, depression, saddness, and sometimes I still do, like today, but once it is over, as it will be with my dear friend Amy Jo, you look back at how this experience makes you grateful that he is only gone for 2 or 3 days and that those few days are really nothing in a year, and that 365 days are nothing in a lifetime, let alone eternity. There is such a grater perspective that even I can't comprehend...but I'm trying!! Then I think about my grandma who survied after my grandpa died almost 10 years. What an icreadible woman. She never failed to be greatful or smile. I need to be more like her...That is a whole new story for another day perhaps, but this weekend I am going to try and be happy and realize Sunday isn't that far away....

5 comments:

NVP2Be said...

It was great talking to you! (I'm still looking for that lil spider that, I know wants to come out and play, so i can kill it....Hehe. )

Regan said...

You're amazing, Stacey. :-)

Katrina said...

You have such an awesome spirit, Stacey! You are an absolute wonder to me. Ü You always have a bright smile on your face and a way to make everyone feel welcome. I'm sure Amy Jo has really appreciated having you around to understand her and be a shoulder to lean on. Ü Some of the best advice I've ever heard was from Elder Packer - saved my life ;) - "When you've reached the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on." and never forget that our Savior is always there to hold us up, although I think that he carries me much more than he holds me up. haha.

Stacey said...

Ya'll are great cause if it wasn't for friends like you I Really REALLY could not have made it!

Melissa said...

You know, if you were ever sad I could never tell. I think you're so strong...not because you were separated from your husband for so long but because you always kept that smile on your face. I think that's the true indication of strength...to find a way to smile even when it's hard.